Phobias and other irrational fears

Growing up, my all-time favorite book was Charlotte’s Web. And even though I’ve been deathly afraid of spiders for as long as I remember, I loved Charlotte and would cry when she died at the end.

Homes in Massachusetts have spiders. If I saw one crawling up my wall, I would hop on top of my bed and let out a piercing shriek until someone, anyone, came to my rescue. And even after witnessing said offending spider meet a crushing blow via kleenex (or my bro carry the thing outside and set it free), I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I would feel thousands, no millions, of creepy crawly spiders moving under the covers and over my skin.

My brother (the animal lover who would set the spiders free) subscribed to a service – I forget the company name (maybe National Geographic?) – but every month he’d receive a new packet of illustrated cards, featuring a photograph of a living organism on one side and a detailed description of genus/species/habitat/eating habits/peculiar morsels of trivia on the flipside. The company provided a neato plastic bin to house the animal cards.

Why is this particular memory flooding my brain? I just saw a creepy, crawly spider in my office that vaguely resembled the one card I found in my Charlotte’s Web book eons ago. I’m a professional. I can’t panic. I can’t hop on my desk and scream bloody murder until someone runs in to kill it. My colleagues will think I’m a lunatic.

The spider is small. I am much larger than the spider. The spider is tiny. I can crush the spider with my fingertip. The spider is slow. Actually, it can crawl pretty fast. And it’s got the web action. It spins a cocoon around its victims and eats them later. A village of spiders could be waiting for me. It could kill me with its venom (could be a black widow). Or crawl into my ear and to my brain.

Aaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

Who else suffers from a completely mind-numbing fear?

“Oh what a night”

More like a surreal weekend. I felt like a guest star on “This is Your Life.” But I suppose it’s natural for a person to assemble a sorted collection of acquaintances after living in a city almost ten years.

It all started when an old friend showed up for drinks at Zola. I didn’t think he’d make it out because it really wasn’t his scene – but two black martinis later, he looked right at home.

Man from the Past #1

I was walking out of Zola when someone grabbed my arm, pulling me back toward the bar area. It turned out to be this random guy who used to call me when production companies would hold auditions for extras. The only time we ever talked or met was at these casting calls. I hadn’t seen him in three years.

So we hopped in a cab and headed towards an old favorite – The Eighteenth Street Lounge. At one point, before my mature and sensible phase kicked in, I was hanging out there three times a week. It felt like putting on an old sweater that had been carelessly buried beneath a pile of clothes.

Man from the Past #2

We decided to grab stools at the bar instead of sitting on the comfy couches scattered throughout the main floor. ESL is a swank lounge with rooms that open up into one another. Candlelit with jazz rhythms beating in the background and a faint mix of cigar and incense. It was early, so I could still spot the people at the far side of the room. Leaning against the fireplace mantle was this guy I had adored and dated on and off until 1999 when I discovered he knew absolutely nothing about basketball (actually, most sports including football, basketball, and hockey ~ but, he could golf). For whatever reason, I was appalled by this fact and mentally moved him into the “just friends” category before losing touch. So we spent 15 minutes catching up on the past 4 years.

Moving right along to Andalu…. the evening begins to get a little hazy here. I guess I should explain – I don’t bar hop anymore. I tend to start off at one place and end up at another. In my book, that’s considered an exciting evening. So to hit three or four establishments in one evening falls under “Partying Like a Rock Star.”

Men from the Past #3

So we’re at Andalu, and I’m at the bar frantically waving a $20 bill to get the bartenders’ attention, when these two guys start pointing my way from the end of the bar. I glance behind me, no one there, and stare back at them. Turns out, when I first moved to DC, friendless and alone, I used to hang out on their front stoop drinking Busch in cans. We must have hung out almost every night for a summer before they moved out of the basement apt. and relocated to New York City.


We finished the night at Club Five… danced the hours away like fools. I arrived with an impressive entourage…. having picked up a new person at each pitstop along the way.

It makes you appreciate what a small world we live in and how random life really can be. Don’t burn bridges!

A sucker for 18-year-old Glenlivet

I love walking into a cool, dark room with woodlined walls, hard leather furniture, and the subtle sweet scent of a good cigar in the air. Add Glenlivet to the mix and I ask you – IS there anything better?

Check out scheduled tastings in your area.

To the ladies out there

I don’t think guys will relate to this post. It’s mostly a girl thing.

I took special care getting ready this morning because I knew I wouldn’t have time to run home before going out to this shi-shi bar tonight. I even packed a small bag to work, so I could freshen up later in the bathroom.

And yet, I already know I won’t feel anywhere near as fabulous as I did four hours ago. My hair is doing a funny wavy thing, my makeup is melting (meeeeeeeeeeeeelting), and I’m not happy with the clothes I’m changing into (whine, whine, whine – yeah, I know).

My male colleagues just grin and shake their heads. They just don’t know……

But for some inexplicable reason, I’m excited for the first time in weeks. And for tonight, I’m happy to be in DC and not in Lisbon.

Milton

Friday…. jam-packed with one meeting after another. Who invented “the meeting”? (perhaps the most counterproductive business bauble ever! But that’s another post).

It took all of 15 minutes to update the committee on my role in their upcoming event. So I kicked back and watched the poor schmuck sitting across from me, bothered that he reminded me of… well, somebody. And that somebody was right on the edge of my thoughts, in that gray foggy place where I couldn’t quite zoom in on the image. Until someone antagonized him and in response he stuttered out an answer.

MY GOD – he didn’t look like him, but the mannerisms were there. It was Milton!.

Stand up for kids

Did you know that there are between 1.3 and 3 million runaway and homeless kids in America? Everyday the National Runaway Switchboard reports that thirteen children die from assault, disease, and suicide. Every day!

Stand Up For Kids is an all-volunteer, national organization with chapters in 26 states (including Washington, DC). If you’re interested in learning more about what this group is doing in your area, click here.

Changing direction

It doesn’t feel like a Thursday – that spark of possibility knowing the weekend is right around the corner. It’s a gray, nothing sort of day. A day when the mind is allowed to wander to wherever. And right now, mine is in Lisbon (in the middle of their heatwave).

Do you ever wonder where you’d go or what you’d do if someone approached you with the opportunity to change your life? Are you perfectly happy where you’re at – or would you move? And where? Would you continue working at what you’re doing now? Or would you choose to pursue a different career? Like what?

let’s assume, if you’re married with or without children, that your loved ones would be thrilled with whatever you decide

I think I’d like to move to Lisbon and wait on tables. I’d eventually freelance and maybe learn how to sing fado.

A chapel in space

Cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko plans to marry his Texan bride, Ekaterina Dmitriev, while in orbit this weekend. His superiors on Earth are accusing him of “showboating and advised him to wait.”

Any thoughts?